Top 5 lame business ideas & why.

“This is a highest indexing post on the website. for this time period.”

Written by Ashton Deroy in 2017 during our incarnation as the Toronto-Businessphere. 

Ashton Deroy writes: As a marketer, I am constantly told about business ideas from friends, relatives & classmates. Some of these ideas were good, & some were so funny that I had to mention them on this forum.

In this post, I will not analyze them on the merit of the idea. Rather I will judge them on their affordability and rounded thinking.

 

YouTube Channel.jpg

This is actually an idea I hear a lot of, people saying they will start a YouTube channel and sell advertising space. This idea tends to fall apart when you ask questions such as, What is your content Strategy? What will you do index your page? How will you deal with your own possible negative publicity?

Sure start a YouTube channel, why not? Just don’t expect miracles. Really, don’t be surprised if you turn on the camera and you achieve nothing spectacular! Personally I tried discussing business on YouTube for years but I am not rich so no one really cares. People have gone on record getting higher views on their homemade porn than on their YouTube channels. 😉

Realistically a YouTube channel will not likely make ad revenue unless they have 1000 subscribers, an authority in content & their own external website for proper channel indexing.

Business security.png

In 2016 my brother decided he wanted to start a security business. He did not put much thought in to this business though… As he thought it would be an easy business he could freelance and start. What did he not know? He needs a business license, insurance, a valid security license & contacts for business leads.

In one meeting in regards to setting up this business my other brother suggested just operating without licenses and trained security, however I spoke up and warned them that this would very likely get them sued for securities fraud at the very least…

Marijuana accessories shop.png

Recent Marijuana News:

Ever since Justin Trudeau announced the intention of legalizing marijuana in 2015. Every other person in business school and my own brother has wanted to to get into the marijuana business. Why this is a bad idea? The market is too crowded, the most successful vendors are not specialized & buyers do not purchase anything other than specialized accessories online.

Unless you are a pot dealer who already has customers coming to them illegally! Who gives a flying F$#*& about your idea to start this business? 

8/9/2018, Retraction, “Accessories shops referring to my raw KPI data can be very marketable. Steps for success  You have to choose a good brand ambassador then make successful investment & marketing choices. A lot of underexperienced non-accountants/non-retail employees should not start a business relying on logistics or inventory. However, it can be a good idea with the right executions.

Check out Bongs-R-Us.ca 

Beaut.jpg

Any excuse to rip on this incredibly glitchy project that seems to be the pride of Helix at Seneca College. What is this business? It is an app, Well it is supposed to be an indexing business for beauticians such as Hair stylists, makeup artists & nail designers. They want to be the Kijiji on beauty essentially!

What are the problems with this idea?

Idealistic thinking, out of beta and government funding, this idea will not work. Why is this? Beauticians have every interest in working under a salon and not so much as self-employed freelancers. Further, then that many beauticians, I talked to choose not to self-advertise as they think that will make it harder to join a big salon. This business Beaut is trying to interrupt the hair styling industry the same way Uber did with cars & Air BnB did with lodging.

However, unless they become a solid vendor that sends beauticians hundreds of clients. It is likely that rather than interrupt the industry they will likely be ignored by it.

What is the problem with everyone? It seems like everyone is in the application development business. I must get 10 emails a day of Indian companies wanting to develop apps for my .com clients. Personally, I only am interested in carrying exercise applications on my phone and I am not eager to try every new application anymore. It is annoying… 

T-shirt design.png

This is a very stupid business idea, T-Shirt design is a hobby, not a business! Besides that, without having your own equipment you will likely rely on someone else’s printers to run this kind of business & that creates an issue with a markup cost that is much too high to make a profit at this kind of business. Actually, in the past, I have refused T-Shirt design business partnerships for having an underdeveloped business, no fashion design experience & poor web layout. Again most times this is more of a hobby than a viable business option…

Retraction August 9th 2018. “Right now Vista Print has a reseller program that is looking very promising. The being said you have to have an eye for aesthetic. The beginning stage of this business is setting up a creative portfolio. Setting up means… Printing your god damn t-shirts! 

To conclude maybe you read this forum because you are dead set on starting a business. I always tell people a business is like a job, you need to do something that is such a pain in the ass people want to pay you to do it. The best business ideas I would love to get behind our tech support, Sales based & or in the food service industry. However, this idea of having fun jobs is idealistic and incredibly stupid.


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